Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Rug swept

Hello universe!

It's been awhile, that doesn't mean that you were far from my thoughts though...

Take that last statement as you please, but it's the truth.

I just didn't want to do yet another self-reflection post that could be construed as whining..

Yet this is where my mind is at, where my thoughts go, so...
Fuck it.


Here I go again...

Lately, and I can't quite pinpoint an exact time or location when I realized what I'm about to tell you/write you but I've been feeling like this ever since I relocated/moved..

I just haven't felt like myself.

I have felt like this introverted person, that is scared of everything. I have felt insecure and question my choices and who I am. I have felt extremely lonely for the first time in a long time. I have felt stuck.


I'm sure everything goes through this at some point in their life, frankly I know that these feelings and emotions are normal.

But I can't stop feeling this way.

I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy.



That, I know is not right.
I have one life. I want to live and embrace my choices, no matter how wrong they are.

I want to be happy with myself.

I don't know what or when I began to doubt all that I am, but I am aware.
I am aware of my own lack of living in the moment, and I want to make a conscious change.


But how does one do that in a profound way to actually make a difference?

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