Rug swept

Hello universe!

It's been awhile, that doesn't mean that you were far from my thoughts though...

Take that last statement as you please, but it's the truth.

I just didn't want to do yet another self-reflection post that could be construed as whining..

Yet this is where my mind is at, where my thoughts go, so...
Fuck it.


Here I go again...

Lately, and I can't quite pinpoint an exact time or location when I realized what I'm about to tell you/write you but I've been feeling like this ever since I relocated/moved..

I just haven't felt like myself.

I have felt like this introverted person, that is scared of everything. I have felt insecure and question my choices and who I am. I have felt extremely lonely for the first time in a long time. I have felt stuck.


I'm sure everything goes through this at some point in their life, frankly I know that these feelings and emotions are normal.

But I can't stop feeling this way.

I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy.



That, I know is not right.
I have one life. I want to live and embrace my choices, no matter how wrong they are.

I want to be happy with myself.

I don't know what or when I began to doubt all that I am, but I am aware.
I am aware of my own lack of living in the moment, and I want to make a conscious change.


But how does one do that in a profound way to actually make a difference?